Options

I looked around me and saw nothing but bright lights and dull colors.

What the fuck am I doing here?

How the fuck do I get out of here?

What was for a long time a dimly lit room with soft yet vibrant colors was gone.

            Just gone.

Of course I freaked out.

They even had to put me in a straight jacket.

I ran around in circles, looking for that room.

Once, I caught a glimpse of it.

            It was even more beautiful than before.

Then it was gone and the lights were even brighter now. The colors were barely even colors.

            They were mostly muddled browns and blacks.

So when they came to me and looked me in the eye and told me “everything is going to be ok”
            I believed them.

                        I clung to that.

I needed them to tell me that I was going to be fine and that this room was not all that bad.

            I was a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome.

Soon, everything I did made more sense.

Because I was to “accept that old room is gone and grow to love this room. And other rooms.”

            But not the room I loved.

Time passed, though im not sure how much. Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks?

            Who knows?

Eventually I stumled out of that room (with the bright lights and dull walls),

And I found myself somewhere familiar. My old room.

            But some thing had changed…

The colors were not quite as bright.

            And if I stared at the lights for long enough, they seemed to flicker.

                        And they flickered constantly.

I didn’t know what to do about the paint and the lights.

            So I kept quiet.

                        It seemed like the best option.

But now?

            Now I am dead on the inside.

                        And everything is gone.

                                    Just. Gone.